ThePhdMom

So I think that I've just about finished my prologue and my first chapter! Yay! Jump for joy everyone! "Party Like its 1999!" "Celebrate Good Times, Come On!" yea yea yea yea yea...that's what you would think, but alas a bit of melancholy has set in, and I am not very excited about it at all. In fact I am quite doubtful about the whole thing...I mean what if my argument is nothing more than a bunch of crap? What if only makes sense to me? What if I am totally on the wrong track? I've submitted it to my advisers and I am waiting to hear back from them-but the waiting is killing me. Seriously its like my mind is now paralyzed....I can't think past this fear to move on to the next chapters-even though I know I need to. In addition I am giving an informal presentation on my first chapter in two weeks!!!! Again what if its all a bunch of crap? In the words of my favorite graduate colleague "Ay De Mi!" (I think that's what he says, in any case the expression and way he says it makes me feel like that is appropriate). If it weren't for my loving and wonderful husband (and my dad) listening to my argument over and over and over, reassuring me that I am making logical sense and progress...and helping me formulate my ideas in a coherent way, I'd be stark mad by now!

In other and more exciting news, my little one (now six months) is crawling around! He is so delightful to watch and play with! He really takes my mind away from the harsh cold world of writing a dissertation in isolation. :( I seriously find joy in his little smiles and babbles. My 12 year old presented me with a pleasant surprise as well. Last week he was awarded student of the month! While he is truly no saint, he is definitely improving in his behavior and growing into a wonderful young man! I love my little guys :) I am where I am because of all of them, hubby included! :)

Because of them and you my lambs, I'm moving this phdmom project along and will be incorporating as a nonprofit soon! It is my goal to provide a mentorship for undergrads, graduates, postdocs, and faculty that would encourage more support and dialogue for phdparents. Cross your fingers that this is a smooth process! I know its a lot to do while I am writing the dissertation, taking care of the little ones, all while trying to maintain my sanity-but it's for a great purpose! I want to help people like me from loosing their minds lol!

Until Next Time :)