ThePhdMom

I know it's been a while-but alas duty called and I had to answer! My entire family has been sick for the past two weeks! There is some crazy stomach virus going around and it seems to have the entire town (Northampton) by the ears. The Gods must favor me because I have yet to catch it, and I've been quite productive while taking care of the family :)

More in few :)
Thephdmom

When I found out I was pregnant I had a colossal meltdown. I was seriously thinking about quitting graduate school altogether. It was hard enough to get through the bulk of my graduate career with one child, with two I was not sure how I could manage-especially since I was just entering the "writing phase."

After my meltdown (which lasted quite a while) I decided I needed to think "WWSMD" (What Would Super Mom Do-Courtesy of JUSTFNDOIT.COM) Would she back down in the face of the evil conjoined sisters Kong Foo Master Writers Block and Jedi Master Mental Meltdown? Would she let the evil Dr. Procrastinator put her under a hypnotic spell that made her vegg out in front of the T.V. watching narcissistic reality shows! No! Like the characters on Total Drama Island She would win! She would fight to the end! Defeat her evil foes and....oh...yes too much cartoon network....

No seriously, after I seriously contemplated walking away from everything I'd worked so hard for, I realized that I need to put into practice what I've learned from the myriad of "dissertation" self-help books I've read. All was still possible, even with a growing family. What I needed to do was focus my research and my time. I need better organization. Now I am the last one who wants to live by the "clock," but my inner supermom kept screaming at me...“First comes thought; then organization of that thought, into ideas and plans; then transformation of those plans into reality." (Napolean Hill) I decided I just couldn't give up that easy.

A few months ago I (re) decided that if I wanted my reality to be more than just a vision, I needed to jump into action! Over the summer, I went through my calender and mapped out a year long academic plan that incorporated writing my dissertation, academic conferences, family time, and me-she time (girl time). Now, I will admit when I was done looking at it, I was like what the #$%&! Am I spreading myself too thin? Is this realistic? My answer..."I won't know until I actually give it a try!" I have adhered to this schedule since the fall and it hasn't been so tough-but then again, it hasn't exactly been a walk in the park.

So what does my month and week look like you ask? Hmmm lets see:

I work on my dissertation five times a week, Monday through Friday, 7 am until 3 pm. Sometimes I do not get in my office (courtesy of Smith College-9 Dewey) until 8 or 9, but I make up those hours by staying later. I always get in before 9 am and I never stay past 5 pm. One day out of the five I call my "unplanned" day. This is the day I do not necessarily plan on writing. It is the day I go back and look up information I am missing or "run errands" for my dissertation. It is also the day I revise the previous days writing.

On Friday evenings I have mandatory family time. This usually consists of take-out or leftovers (no cooking on Fridays ;0) and an on-demand movie or catching up on the weeks missed sitcoms. I really think this is important, as sometimes we can get so caught up in our own work, we easily forget that at the end of the day we still have to live life and enjoy it with our family. While my weekends are "free," those are my clean up and relaxation days. I catch up on emails, chat with friends, and even play a little farmville or cityville. I try my hardest not to work on those days-but sometimes I can't resist.

Now a schedule is just that, a schedule. For me it is a guide- not a do-or-die ritual. It can and will be interrupted on any given day. There have been countless time I've gotten a call from my eldest son's school, or when I couldn't schedule a doctors appointment after 3pm. There have been times when I could not go to my cave (office) to write because the baby was up all night and I just couldn't roll out of bed. But I'm managing to roll with the punches and accept this as just another hurdle to overcome on the road to the Ph.D. I'm starting to understand that part of the significance, and sometimes frustration, of being a PHDMOM (or student-parent) is having flexibility. At any moment my schedule has to be adjusted not because I need it adjusted, but because duty, aka my family, calls.

At other times my schedule needs adjusting because I need it! There have been many times when I have just pulled myself too thin trying to meet a deadline and adhere to my "schedule"
Case in point: A month ago I botched a teaching demonstration in company of my peers. I was so tired that all my preparedness did nothing the day of the demonstration. Instead of adjusting my schedule or pausing it for a moment, I just kept with it, attempting to fit in work for some of my other commitments after I was done with my writing. Bad idea. Again I considered ending my academic career, but I thought about all that I've worked for and decided to keep pressing on. What doesn't kill me or thoroughly embarrass me too much, can only make me stronger right?

On a final note, while its great to have my life seemingly "organized," I (and you as well) should remember the words of Colin Powel, "Organization charts and fancy titles[including Supermom!]...count for next to nothing....." without action!"

May I inspire you into organization and action!

Thephdmom